Parental Pressure to Play

Last week I was talking to another coach about the upcoming lacrosse season. One of her players approached her and said that she still wasn't sure whether she could committ to play as she was also on a travel soccer team. We all agreed that the time committment for two sports as well as a rigorous academic schedule was nearly impossible. The player wanted to play lacrosse but said that she was afraid to discuss it with her mother. She is a good soccer player as well as lacrosse player, being the true athlete that she is. Her mother was interested in seeing her pursue soccer in college. This young lady was practical enough to know her abilities and that she would certainly be able to play at the Division III level but not Division I. Her quandry was that she wanted to go to college for her academic skills and mentioned a few Division I schools. She is an honor student with excellent grades and I'm sure she would be accepted to the school of her choice. I could see the stress on her face when she talked about the travel soccer team and the time committment to travel to several weekend tournaments. The tournament dates happened to coincide with the SAT dates. Of course, the spring of Junior year in high school is an important time to take the SAT's to at least get a feel for the test. When this player spoke of playing lacrosse for her high school team instead of soccer, I could see her visibly relax. I suggested that her mother would want her to do what she, the student, wanted and that her mother would want her to be happy and enjoy the season. I was the only one in the room who thought this way and it was pointed out that I was the only one who didn't know her mother. Why was this mother putting so much stress on her daughter? We all want our children to succeed but sometimes we, as parents, have to take a step back and hope that we have given our children the tools to make decisions for themselves. As I look at this student-athlete, I see a confident, intelligent young woman. I think her parents should be proud of her accomplishments so far and hope that they support her in decisions for her future.