Senioritis or Stressed-Out?

Senior year of high school is certainly a stressful time for young scholar athletes. Starting in the fall with their last chance to take the SAT's, applying to colleges by their various deadlines, along with the regular school work, volunteering, participating in clubs, and possibly working at a job and you have students' under a lot of stress. I forgot to mention the stress of awaiting those college acceptance letters. I have seen many athletes fail to live up to their expectations in their final year of high school. My speculation is that they are spread too thin. In fact, I have warned parents and players of taking on too much during such an important year.  In the Spring season combine Prom, AP exams, final exams, senior trips and graduation, with post season play and you have a perfect storm for disaster. Such was the case with my own son. Unfortunately, he was sick the day of the AP History exam and it was rescheduled for two weeks later. Of course, this coincided with his lacrosse team's quarterfinal game in the State tournament. For some reason the test must be given at 12:00 noon and lasts for more than three hours, even though most high schools end their day much earlier than that. The state game was scheduled for 4:00 and happened to be a 2-2 1/2 hour drive away. My son was taking the exam while his team left early to travel to their opponent. Our plan was to leave directly from the test and hope to get to the field for the second half of the game. But at 3:20 he was in the Athletic Director's office discussing the 2 1/2 hour journey and it was recommended that he not even bother taking the trip. I was hopeful that the route I had planned would get us there in 2 hours. To my thinking, he should have been on the field, even if he wasn't able to play, with his team for what might have been the last game of his high school career. But we didn't go and waited anxiously to hear the outcome of the game, hoping that they would win and he would have another chance to play. Unfortunately, the outcome was not in his team's favor, and his playing time was over. Not to mention the fact that we will always wonder whether there would have been a different outcome had he been there. The choice of taking the test or going to the game was my son's and he discussed it with his teacher and coaches before making the decision. Of course, I  am proud of him for making such a difficult decision. Now all we have to do is wait for the results. Then wait to see if the credits are actually accepted by his college. I have never been a big fan of Advanced Placement courses because the rigorous curriculum is difficult for high school students that have so many other time commitments. After this experience, I haven't changed my mind.

Honor the Game

Honor is the Game is a motto that US lacrosse uses in promoting the game of lacrosse. Several times recently, at both high school boys and girls games, this theme seems to have been forgotten. When checking gets out of hand, it becomes dangerous for the players on the field. It also gives an unfair advantage to the player or team that is playing not just aggressively but out of control. At my son's recent high school game, many dangerous checks went uncalled. As the game progressed, players on both teams became more aggressive. Finally, in the third quarter, a teammate of my son's, was called for being in the crease after taking a shot. The young man was laying injured in the crease because he had just been illegally checked and fell into the crease. As the coaching staff and trainer ran onto the field, the head coach was yelling at the referee for not making correct call(s). I couldn't hear all of the conversation but the coach was eventually given a yellow card. Normally, I don't condone coaches yelling at referees but I think the coach was entirely correct in sticking up for his players. Silence ensued on the field, in the sidelines, and in the stands. I think everyone understood that the game was getting out of hand. No one wants to see an athlete get hurt. After that the game settled down and my son's team scored a few quick goals that sealed the game.

In two recent girls's games, the other teams were very aggressive and committed many fouls that were not called by the referees. Our team started the season very competitively and while we didn't see a lot of wins, we were scoring 12-15 goals per game and kept the score close. In the last two games we scored 3 and 5 goals respectively. Our players were handicapped by the incessant fouls committed against them. It is difficult to maintain possession with three players on your back and then getting checked into your head or across the body. We had five players with bloody fingers and knuckles from getting checked in their hands and one bloody lip. If you don't know the game, checking is generally aimed at the crosse or head of the stick with the intention of knocking the ball loose, not at players hands.

I do wish the referees had called tighter games but the responsibility lies with the coaches as well. Coaches should not condone or encourage "dirty" play. As one of our players came off the field, she commented that our team was classy and better than the other team. Another player noted that lacrosse is a game of finesse and that what we just played was not lacrosse. It is frustrating to see that our players' skill is not awarded and they are not given a chance to actually play the game. However, I am proud of them and they walked away with their heads held high. They honored the game.

Motivating the High School Student Athlete

One thing I struggle with as a coach is how to motivate high school athletes at practices and games. I try to get them into a routine to get into what I refer to as "volleyball mode" or "lacrosse mode." We use warm-up drills and dynamic stretching and I encourage them to start leaving school, relationships, and other distractors behind. For some athletes, this is as natural as breathing. For others, focusing on practices  and games takes hard work and practice as well. The players don't see the mental training as important as the physical training. I allow them some freedom to select warm-ups and team speeches so that each team has something to call their own. Each team also has drills that they prefer so if that's what keeps them interested, I stick with that and make modifications. Making drills competitive with winners and losers also helps. The losing side usually has to do extra conditioning but with the female athletes and maybe males as well, getting into shape and looking good is important to them. So many times, all of the players end up doing the conditioning together. This encourages team bonding and team work. The teams that end up following this path are generally the the more successful ones, not necessarily in wins and losses, but have a positive overall experience.

We'd Like to Take the Program in a Different Direction

Oh, no. There it is again. The Athletic Director's favorite line and the one coach's dread to hear. I'm still not sure exactly what that mean's but I suppose it's a euphemism meant to soften the blow of "You're Fired." I have heard these words a few times myself and it's frustrating. Personally, I would rather have the truth and use that information to better myself. I am also not a big fan of blindsiding someone and think that even coach's can use support and guidance. I was recently informed by an Athletic Director that  the Administration wanted to "take their program in a different direction." After some pressing, I was told that they wanted someone with more lacrosse experience. That was all well and good except that I had practically been begged to take the position, even after I proclaimed my lack of experience (two years on the junior varisty level). The Athletic Director said that my positive manner and professionalism as their Head Girls Volleyball Coach was more important and that was what they were looking for in Lacrosse as well. I took the position and made it through the first season, where we made it into a playoff game to get into the state tournament. The toughest thing was learning thirty plus players and their personalities, strengths and weaknesses. At the season's end, the junior varsity coach and I were proud of what we had accomplished, especially with the new and younger players, and looked forward to continuing our success this season. Alas, that was not to be. So I am back at my old junior varsity coaching position and the good thing is that I have freed up my time so that I will also be able to watch my son play in his lacrosse games.

What prompted me to write this today though, is not my story, but one of another well-liked coach, who recently heard the the dreaded words that the school would like to go in a "different" direction. I met this coach in his third season as a head coach when my son wrestled on his team. He was positive, enthusiastic, knowledgeable, patient, and understanding. All good qualities in a coach and a good role model for the young men on his team. He also lugged wrestling mats around in his car because the school did not have enough mats for the team to practice on. My son ended up transferring to another school but we still remember his support when my family made that difficult decision. This coach's stats are listed in an article in today's NJ Sunday Herald (http://www.njherald.com/story/17248003/hs-wrestling-pope-john-parts-ways-with-wrestling-coach-koch) . He states that he thought the program was going in the right direction. It looks like it to me, too. It's sad if a coach is let go for one bad season.  As my son pointed out to me, there were individual wrestlers on the team who had great success, partly due to this coach. In fact, in the same sports section, one of the grapplers was named to the All-Herald Wrestling First Team.

Positive coaching and a positive experience by most of the team members is something you cannot quantify as easily as wins and losses. I believe that the lessons learned and friendships forged while competing on a high school team are ultimately more important than the wins. Some of my most memorable coaching moments are not from games we won, rather those games we felt like we won because of teamwork, playing from the heart, and the players giving it their all.

It's a Beautiful Season for Lacrosse!

A former high school lacrosse player used to exclaim, "What a beautiful day for lacrosse!" on the nice sunny days of lacrosse. However, not all days are so sunny. The first year I coached, I remember a lot of rain, cold rain to make matters worse. The coaches and teams used umbrellas, raincoats, hats, whatever would work to keep us dry. Scorebooks got soggy, duffle bags got soggy, the ball bag got soggy. You get the idea. The season was wet and cold and we were wet and cold. I yearned for the indoors of the volleyball season. For the past two years, we started the out with several feet of snow on the ground. Practices were held indoors or in parking lots because the fields were covered with snow and then, as the weather warmed, with mud. Teams with grass fields were scrambling to scrimmage teams that were lucky enough to have the coveted turf fields. But this year is different! The winter was mild and the area didn't see much snow. Winter enthusiasts were dismayed by the lack of snow. Skiing was limited on the east coast and the the ski season came crashing to an early halt. But for those of us who love lacrosse, it's a blessing. After a few cold days, the weather has been warm and dry. We have been able to practice outdoors and on a field everyday. The team is weeks ahead of where we have been in the past! So, as I coach on one field and watch my son play on another, I hope mother nature remains kind to us, and I can trade in my umbrella for a bottle of suncreen.

An Annoying Bird Chattering in My Ear

There was an annoying sound in my ear but it was a parent not a bird. Last week, I attended the first round of a girls high school state tournament. I arrived at the game a few minutes into the first quarter and looked around for a place to sit. I saw an empty spot near the local sports videographers and thought that would be a nice, neutral place for me to sit. I wanted to support girls athletics in general more than one particular team, although I found myself rooting for the home team. It was quickly apparent that the home team was better than the visiting team. I happened to be seated near some parents from the visitor's team. There was a group of four or five, led loudly by one woman, who disagreed with the referees, cheered on their team when they fouled the other players, and were basically poor sports all around. At one point, I wanted to tell this woman that she should learn the rules of the game. She knew enough to argue the referees' calls but not enough to see the subtleties of why the calls were made or not made. I thought the referees did a decent job and were fair to both teams. The players and coaches of both teams were respectful and the parents of the winning team were also respectful. They cheered their team on but did not heckle the other team or referees. I don't know why parents act this way. The players were doing their best but were outmatched. I know that from being in the coach's shoes that loud parents in the stands actually are more of a distraction to the players on the court, and yes, even an embarrassment.

The Little Black Dress

Last weekend, I tried out another pair of demo skis. I have a friend who said to try out about five different pair and then when I buy a pair, take a lesson with the new skis. I happened to read an article in SnowEast  magazine that also recommended testing out skis and to...demo, demo, demo. Of course, there are different schools of thought, and another friend said she buys the skis and then learns to ski on them. But that was my way of purchasing in the past and I did not have much luck. This time, I tried Blizzard (accent on the second syllable, I am told) Viva skis. Another great day of skiing! Turns were easy and I felt totally in control. I challenged myself to take some short Black Diamond runs and amazingly even took a run through the practice gates that were set up for the young racers. I also realized that I was not using the skis to their fullest potential. My friend's suggestion to take a lesson after buying new skis seems to make sense. When I returned the demo skis, I said that they made me a much better skier than I actually am. The owner smiled and said that was the general consensus of everyone who tried them, thus giving the skis the nickname, "The Little Black Dress."

Skis Made for Women!

This past weekend I skied in Vermont. On my first day of skiing, I used a pair of Head demo skiis, designed especially for women. My current skis are also designed for women but this pair was a step up from my beginner skis. Prior to that, I used a pair of shape skis but I always felt I was not in control and was fighting the snow. As I struggle with getting a little older, a little heavier, and a little more cautious, there were times when I wondered about how much longer this intermediate skiier could hold on. The weather cooperated and was mid-30s and sunny. Surprisingly, Killington had several inches of groomed snow and the conditions were great.  All of this combined for an excellent ski experience. I had a fantastic day and remembered why I like to ski! It felt great skimming down the hills over the snow! For anyone who is interested, the Skis were MYA N° 8.

What Age is Appropriate to Play Organized Sports?

Yesterday, I overhead someone's cell phone conversation. It was a father, asking if it was okay for his kindergartener to play on the first and second grade girls lacrosse team. At first, I was excited that a lacrosse team even existed for first and second grader girls. A few years ago, the youngest girls team was comprised of fourth, fifth, and sixth graders. I was thinking that these girls would have great skills by the time they entered high school. Then I wondered if these girls might be too young. This got me to thinking about organized sports in general. Gone are the days when I attended local Recreation programs.  We played dodge ball, scooter ball, basically anything with teams and a ball and a winner. There was no obligation to attend every week, there were no set teams and we chose sides each day. We played hard, we played to win, but mainly played for the sake of playing. We learned various skills, sportsmanship, team play, winning and losing, and of course, got our exercise.

My son played flag football in kindergarten, a decision I second guessed many times. He was not so much interested in playing as eating a hot dog at half time (he usually lost interest by the second half). The following year, when he was one of the older kids, he was much more into the game and wanted to play. However, certain players got more playing time, maybe a coincidence, but they were the coaches' children. Or did my son already have the reputation of not being a player? This did not go unnoticed by my son or one of his teammate's who also did not see much playing time. The teammate's parents approached me at one point to see if I noticed what was going on. I did. This teammate never returned to football. How sad it is to discourage a second grader from playing football or any sport. This young man was a good athlete, too, and played soccer and baseball throughout elementary school and high school. My own son played football until he was a sophomore in high school with the exception of fifth grade when he took the year off. There are a few children who are born with natural coordination but for the average 6 and 7 year olds, they want to be part of the team, have fun, wear a uniform. Unfortunately, too much emphasis is put on winning and playing the "best" players. Children develop physically and emotionally at such different rates, that it seems unfair to separate them by ability at such a young age. And the fathers, I mean coaches,  put a lot of emphasis on winning. Not all coaches are like this and my son had many great coaches but it only takes a few to spoil the game, whether they are your coach or the coach of the opposing team. I know my own son matured physically in his early teens, and mentally, too. He played several sports and is now concentrating on his favorite, lacrosse, and is looking forward to his senior season in high school.

I don't think it matters what age kids start playing organized sports, as long as they are active.  Pushing them too early might actually backfire. My own children tried several sports each. My daughter played softball, lacrosse, volleyball, and cheerleading. She did not start cheerleading until she was in the fifth grade and that was the sport she loved most and worked hard at improving her skills. She attended camps, tumbling classes, and was a member of both game and competition squads. She even considered cheerleading in college. My son played baseball, football, soccer, lacrosse, and wrestled. He started playing lacrosse in the sixth grade and it is the only sport he still plays as a senior in high school. He is considering playing in college. The sports they played at ages 6 and 7 are not the sports they continued with. It could be burnout or just finding the right niche. I have coached many players who suffer from burnout once they get to high school, particularly the ones who played on travel teams prior to entering high school.

My point here is that children should be allowed to participate in sports and progress at their own rate. I wish there were more intramural sports and town recreational sports with less emphasis put on travel teams. Or just be allowed to be kids and play on an empty lot or field. If one of them is a superior athlete, they will get noticed, no matter what.

Linsanity!

Last night, I happened to tune in to the last four minutes of the NY Knicks game. Now I GET what everyone has been talking about. It was so cool to watch Lin calmly let the clock run out (everyone around me was shouting and wondering what he was doing) and then confidently sink the game winning shot. Wow. I haven't been a big fan of professional basketball but I may be persuaded to watch another game or two, thanks to Lin.

Boys/Men's Sports are More Popular Spectator Sports Than Girls/Women's

I don't know why, but boys/men's sports still draw a bigger crowd that their female counterparts. I myself, am guilty of contributing to this phenomenon with certain exceptions. This is not new news but it was definitely underscored last night when two local basketball teams squared off. The two schools are located in the same town and are BIG rivals. Whatever the sport, the teams draw many fans and each team plays it's best, knowing bragging rights are at steak. Sports fans and students know that they are in for a treat. The game was held on Thursday night and tickets for the boy's game went on sale at lunch time in both schools starting on Tuesday. Tickets had to be purchased in advance and would not be sold at the door. Even parents had to pre-purchase their tickets. The gym was sold out and approximately 600 fans were in attendance. Across town, the girl's game drew less than 100 people, including the players and coaches. The picture below shows an empty section of seats across from where I was sitting. The the boys and girls teams from both schools are very competitive and each holds league and state titles. On this particular night, on the boys side, the away team won, bringing the two competing teams, along with a third, into a three-way tie for first place in their division. The win for the away girls team did not decide any titles but even if it did, I wonder if it would have made any difference.

Parental Pressure to Play

Last week I was talking to another coach about the upcoming lacrosse season. One of her players approached her and said that she still wasn't sure whether she could committ to play as she was also on a travel soccer team. We all agreed that the time committment for two sports as well as a rigorous academic schedule was nearly impossible. The player wanted to play lacrosse but said that she was afraid to discuss it with her mother. She is a good soccer player as well as lacrosse player, being the true athlete that she is. Her mother was interested in seeing her pursue soccer in college. This young lady was practical enough to know her abilities and that she would certainly be able to play at the Division III level but not Division I. Her quandry was that she wanted to go to college for her academic skills and mentioned a few Division I schools. She is an honor student with excellent grades and I'm sure she would be accepted to the school of her choice. I could see the stress on her face when she talked about the travel soccer team and the time committment to travel to several weekend tournaments. The tournament dates happened to coincide with the SAT dates. Of course, the spring of Junior year in high school is an important time to take the SAT's to at least get a feel for the test. When this player spoke of playing lacrosse for her high school team instead of soccer, I could see her visibly relax. I suggested that her mother would want her to do what she, the student, wanted and that her mother would want her to be happy and enjoy the season. I was the only one in the room who thought this way and it was pointed out that I was the only one who didn't know her mother. Why was this mother putting so much stress on her daughter? We all want our children to succeed but sometimes we, as parents, have to take a step back and hope that we have given our children the tools to make decisions for themselves. As I look at this student-athlete, I see a confident, intelligent young woman. I think her parents should be proud of her accomplishments so far and hope that they support her in decisions for her future.

Girls Ejected from Game for Fighting - Is it their fault?

This morning, I read an article in the local newspaper about coaches and players being ejected from a basketball game for an "altercation...between players and coaches." At first, I was saddened to read that players got physical (not in a good sense) during the game resulting in several players being thrown out of the game as well as the coaches from both teams. As I read on, though, I was sympathetic to their situation. In November, I attended a panel discussion at New York University, entitled, Head Injuries in Sports: Care, Conflict & Controversy. While much of the discussion centered around professional sports, I reflected on my experiences as a parent and as a coach. The popularity of youth and high school sports has increased tremendously in recent years. As new sports are added at these levels, there is a definite lack of experienced coaches and referees. This causes a perfect storm for injury for players involved. Emotion runs high during a normal competition and when someone feels consistently pushed or fouled, even the most level headed players and coaches start to lose their cool. A few years ago, I had to ask a referee at a girls lacrosse match to please make the calls before the girls killed each other. Of course, the discipline is placed on the coaches as well as the referees but not all coaches think alike. I digress. This is not about injury but sportsmanship and competitiveness. Around here, basketball is not a new sport and I would expect that generally, the referees and coaches have years of experience. I was not at that game, but I know that I always like to see the referees set the tone at the beginning of a game/match/set by making tight calls. And coaches need to know when to take a player out to settle them down. If the players are wrong, I agree that they should pay the price. In this case, if it is true that one of the ejected players was only trying to pull her teammate out of the melee, I hope that the team wins their appeal and the team is able to advance to the state playoffs. Maybe without their other teammate and coach. Either way, a lesson is learned. Which is what sports are about, right?

http://www.njherald.com/story/16681647/2012/02/05/kittatinny-girls-may-miss-tourney