Farewell and Thank You to My Players

A few weeks ago I had to say some goodbyes. After fourteen years of coaching high school sports, I had to bid farewell to my players, fellow coaches, and Athletic Directors. With all of life’s ups and downs, the one constant for me was coaching. Aside from spending time with my family, I can easily say the time I spent on the court or the field was the best part of my day. There were certainly stressful times but I always knew that even a bad day coaching was a good day. I loved working with the high school athletes and watching them grow as players and as young women. In my final year of coaching, I had two different coaching positions. The first was as a Head Volleyball Coach. It was my first season at this particular school and though I felt it was a rebuilding year, the team actually had one of their best seasons ever. The players were so eager to learn and willing to play their part that they made it easy for me. When I announced to the team that I would not be returning, there wasn’t a sound in the room. It was a rather sudden decision for me as and one I truly struggled with. I didn’t want to leave this team or program with so much potential. (I decided to relocate to another state.) In the spring, I was the Assistant Lacrosse Coach at a different high school. I have been there since the inception of the varsity program in 2009. I saw many players enter the program as young freshmen and learn the game and become amazing athletes and set school records. I struggled with how to say farewell to them. There were twelve seniors graduating and I did not want to take away from their awards dinner but I knew I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye. There is an amazing group of sophomores and juniors that I will miss coaching and in the future. I was humbled to hear them say that they would keep in touch with me and I will definitely follow their season next year.  So to my players, I thank you so much for the opportunity to coach you and guide you and be there for you. You definitely gave more to me than I could ever put into words and I consider myself lucky to have known you all.

Senioritis or Stressed-Out?

Senior year of high school is certainly a stressful time for young scholar athletes. Starting in the fall with their last chance to take the SAT's, applying to colleges by their various deadlines, along with the regular school work, volunteering, participating in clubs, and possibly working at a job and you have students' under a lot of stress. I forgot to mention the stress of awaiting those college acceptance letters. I have seen many athletes fail to live up to their expectations in their final year of high school. My speculation is that they are spread too thin. In fact, I have warned parents and players of taking on too much during such an important year.  In the Spring season combine Prom, AP exams, final exams, senior trips and graduation, with post season play and you have a perfect storm for disaster. Such was the case with my own son. Unfortunately, he was sick the day of the AP History exam and it was rescheduled for two weeks later. Of course, this coincided with his lacrosse team's quarterfinal game in the State tournament. For some reason the test must be given at 12:00 noon and lasts for more than three hours, even though most high schools end their day much earlier than that. The state game was scheduled for 4:00 and happened to be a 2-2 1/2 hour drive away. My son was taking the exam while his team left early to travel to their opponent. Our plan was to leave directly from the test and hope to get to the field for the second half of the game. But at 3:20 he was in the Athletic Director's office discussing the 2 1/2 hour journey and it was recommended that he not even bother taking the trip. I was hopeful that the route I had planned would get us there in 2 hours. To my thinking, he should have been on the field, even if he wasn't able to play, with his team for what might have been the last game of his high school career. But we didn't go and waited anxiously to hear the outcome of the game, hoping that they would win and he would have another chance to play. Unfortunately, the outcome was not in his team's favor, and his playing time was over. Not to mention the fact that we will always wonder whether there would have been a different outcome had he been there. The choice of taking the test or going to the game was my son's and he discussed it with his teacher and coaches before making the decision. Of course, I  am proud of him for making such a difficult decision. Now all we have to do is wait for the results. Then wait to see if the credits are actually accepted by his college. I have never been a big fan of Advanced Placement courses because the rigorous curriculum is difficult for high school students that have so many other time commitments. After this experience, I haven't changed my mind.

Honor the Game

Honor is the Game is a motto that US lacrosse uses in promoting the game of lacrosse. Several times recently, at both high school boys and girls games, this theme seems to have been forgotten. When checking gets out of hand, it becomes dangerous for the players on the field. It also gives an unfair advantage to the player or team that is playing not just aggressively but out of control. At my son's recent high school game, many dangerous checks went uncalled. As the game progressed, players on both teams became more aggressive. Finally, in the third quarter, a teammate of my son's, was called for being in the crease after taking a shot. The young man was laying injured in the crease because he had just been illegally checked and fell into the crease. As the coaching staff and trainer ran onto the field, the head coach was yelling at the referee for not making correct call(s). I couldn't hear all of the conversation but the coach was eventually given a yellow card. Normally, I don't condone coaches yelling at referees but I think the coach was entirely correct in sticking up for his players. Silence ensued on the field, in the sidelines, and in the stands. I think everyone understood that the game was getting out of hand. No one wants to see an athlete get hurt. After that the game settled down and my son's team scored a few quick goals that sealed the game.

In two recent girls's games, the other teams were very aggressive and committed many fouls that were not called by the referees. Our team started the season very competitively and while we didn't see a lot of wins, we were scoring 12-15 goals per game and kept the score close. In the last two games we scored 3 and 5 goals respectively. Our players were handicapped by the incessant fouls committed against them. It is difficult to maintain possession with three players on your back and then getting checked into your head or across the body. We had five players with bloody fingers and knuckles from getting checked in their hands and one bloody lip. If you don't know the game, checking is generally aimed at the crosse or head of the stick with the intention of knocking the ball loose, not at players hands.

I do wish the referees had called tighter games but the responsibility lies with the coaches as well. Coaches should not condone or encourage "dirty" play. As one of our players came off the field, she commented that our team was classy and better than the other team. Another player noted that lacrosse is a game of finesse and that what we just played was not lacrosse. It is frustrating to see that our players' skill is not awarded and they are not given a chance to actually play the game. However, I am proud of them and they walked away with their heads held high. They honored the game.

Motivating the High School Student Athlete

One thing I struggle with as a coach is how to motivate high school athletes at practices and games. I try to get them into a routine to get into what I refer to as "volleyball mode" or "lacrosse mode." We use warm-up drills and dynamic stretching and I encourage them to start leaving school, relationships, and other distractors behind. For some athletes, this is as natural as breathing. For others, focusing on practices  and games takes hard work and practice as well. The players don't see the mental training as important as the physical training. I allow them some freedom to select warm-ups and team speeches so that each team has something to call their own. Each team also has drills that they prefer so if that's what keeps them interested, I stick with that and make modifications. Making drills competitive with winners and losers also helps. The losing side usually has to do extra conditioning but with the female athletes and maybe males as well, getting into shape and looking good is important to them. So many times, all of the players end up doing the conditioning together. This encourages team bonding and team work. The teams that end up following this path are generally the the more successful ones, not necessarily in wins and losses, but have a positive overall experience.

We'd Like to Take the Program in a Different Direction

Oh, no. There it is again. The Athletic Director's favorite line and the one coach's dread to hear. I'm still not sure exactly what that mean's but I suppose it's a euphemism meant to soften the blow of "You're Fired." I have heard these words a few times myself and it's frustrating. Personally, I would rather have the truth and use that information to better myself. I am also not a big fan of blindsiding someone and think that even coach's can use support and guidance. I was recently informed by an Athletic Director that  the Administration wanted to "take their program in a different direction." After some pressing, I was told that they wanted someone with more lacrosse experience. That was all well and good except that I had practically been begged to take the position, even after I proclaimed my lack of experience (two years on the junior varisty level). The Athletic Director said that my positive manner and professionalism as their Head Girls Volleyball Coach was more important and that was what they were looking for in Lacrosse as well. I took the position and made it through the first season, where we made it into a playoff game to get into the state tournament. The toughest thing was learning thirty plus players and their personalities, strengths and weaknesses. At the season's end, the junior varsity coach and I were proud of what we had accomplished, especially with the new and younger players, and looked forward to continuing our success this season. Alas, that was not to be. So I am back at my old junior varsity coaching position and the good thing is that I have freed up my time so that I will also be able to watch my son play in his lacrosse games.

What prompted me to write this today though, is not my story, but one of another well-liked coach, who recently heard the the dreaded words that the school would like to go in a "different" direction. I met this coach in his third season as a head coach when my son wrestled on his team. He was positive, enthusiastic, knowledgeable, patient, and understanding. All good qualities in a coach and a good role model for the young men on his team. He also lugged wrestling mats around in his car because the school did not have enough mats for the team to practice on. My son ended up transferring to another school but we still remember his support when my family made that difficult decision. This coach's stats are listed in an article in today's NJ Sunday Herald (http://www.njherald.com/story/17248003/hs-wrestling-pope-john-parts-ways-with-wrestling-coach-koch) . He states that he thought the program was going in the right direction. It looks like it to me, too. It's sad if a coach is let go for one bad season.  As my son pointed out to me, there were individual wrestlers on the team who had great success, partly due to this coach. In fact, in the same sports section, one of the grapplers was named to the All-Herald Wrestling First Team.

Positive coaching and a positive experience by most of the team members is something you cannot quantify as easily as wins and losses. I believe that the lessons learned and friendships forged while competing on a high school team are ultimately more important than the wins. Some of my most memorable coaching moments are not from games we won, rather those games we felt like we won because of teamwork, playing from the heart, and the players giving it their all.

It's a Beautiful Season for Lacrosse!

A former high school lacrosse player used to exclaim, "What a beautiful day for lacrosse!" on the nice sunny days of lacrosse. However, not all days are so sunny. The first year I coached, I remember a lot of rain, cold rain to make matters worse. The coaches and teams used umbrellas, raincoats, hats, whatever would work to keep us dry. Scorebooks got soggy, duffle bags got soggy, the ball bag got soggy. You get the idea. The season was wet and cold and we were wet and cold. I yearned for the indoors of the volleyball season. For the past two years, we started the out with several feet of snow on the ground. Practices were held indoors or in parking lots because the fields were covered with snow and then, as the weather warmed, with mud. Teams with grass fields were scrambling to scrimmage teams that were lucky enough to have the coveted turf fields. But this year is different! The winter was mild and the area didn't see much snow. Winter enthusiasts were dismayed by the lack of snow. Skiing was limited on the east coast and the the ski season came crashing to an early halt. But for those of us who love lacrosse, it's a blessing. After a few cold days, the weather has been warm and dry. We have been able to practice outdoors and on a field everyday. The team is weeks ahead of where we have been in the past! So, as I coach on one field and watch my son play on another, I hope mother nature remains kind to us, and I can trade in my umbrella for a bottle of suncreen.

An Annoying Bird Chattering in My Ear

There was an annoying sound in my ear but it was a parent not a bird. Last week, I attended the first round of a girls high school state tournament. I arrived at the game a few minutes into the first quarter and looked around for a place to sit. I saw an empty spot near the local sports videographers and thought that would be a nice, neutral place for me to sit. I wanted to support girls athletics in general more than one particular team, although I found myself rooting for the home team. It was quickly apparent that the home team was better than the visiting team. I happened to be seated near some parents from the visitor's team. There was a group of four or five, led loudly by one woman, who disagreed with the referees, cheered on their team when they fouled the other players, and were basically poor sports all around. At one point, I wanted to tell this woman that she should learn the rules of the game. She knew enough to argue the referees' calls but not enough to see the subtleties of why the calls were made or not made. I thought the referees did a decent job and were fair to both teams. The players and coaches of both teams were respectful and the parents of the winning team were also respectful. They cheered their team on but did not heckle the other team or referees. I don't know why parents act this way. The players were doing their best but were outmatched. I know that from being in the coach's shoes that loud parents in the stands actually are more of a distraction to the players on the court, and yes, even an embarrassment.